My Extended Ohana Pt. 1

Let me just say this... I love my family... even my in-laws... no matter how crazy and dysfunctional it may be... That being said, let me go on... I shall start this off with the most important one... without her we would not even be here... My Grandma...

She is probably one of the most amazing, loving, caring people I have ever known. I am thankful and blessed to call her my grandma. She is adorable and strong and without those qualities... I dont think our lives would be the same. She wrote me an email to let me know she read my blog posts... amazing! LOL I didn't know she even knew I had one. I am glad she reads them... I'm sure she will cry at this... because all of the women in my family... we're all a bunch of saps and even cry at commercials. No lie. Anyways...

Although i don't talk to her very often, or as often as I would like... there are things that make me think of her almost daily. Not just because of where I work... I think about her all the time. She's amazing and I think she's left a wonderful impression on the lives of everyone she's ever come in contact with. She has such a loving spirit... I wish often that we lived closer so that she could see my children grow up just as she saw us (her grandkids) grow up. But I know that she loves them even though she is not here. I feel as though I need to make her proud... and I hope in some ways I already have. I worry about her all the time... probably too because we don't talk too much so I don't know what's going on with her. But I wish we were close so I could check in on her or take care of her if she ever needed someone too. I would move her here if ever she needed or wanted too. I love to read the things she writes... she definitely has a gift to put things so uniquely into words, and somehow that has been passed down in our family.

I don't know what I'd do without her. She is a wonderful person and I pray that anyone who meets her or anyone who knows her, feels the same way... you can benefit just being in her presence.

Grandma, I love you and I miss you!

Frustration....

I have to say, although I am entirely motivated to go back to school... this has got to be the most frustrating thing ever. Honest. Having to call everybody and their brother to try and get information... going to numerous websites and searching them for what seems like forever... and still feeling as confused as before I found it! And then, hardly anyone seems to have the program I am looking for... and the RN program... yeah a year and a half wait list... good god almighty!! And then this other place... its sort of like a private school I guess... if I were to get into there, its a 13 month program, okay that's wonderful! I could be a thousand steps ahead in a year! BUT classes are Monday through Thursday 8-330... OMG!! How the heck would I pull that off?? Working and going to school and having a family at home too?? Yes, it would only be for a year, that is what I have to think about, but at the same time... how can we pull that off??? Although, I know I am getting quite ahead of myself... I haven't even been to the mandatory information session they are having next week... which I have to go to even apply... and then I'll have to take the nursing entrance test or whatever it is, then i have to apply at the school so long as I pass the NET's... but at the same time, I kinda gotta look ahead too right? I can't commit to something that might not work out, right?? I HAVE NO IDEA!! So in other words... I feel like my head is swirling with 18,000 different ideas and scenarios and whatnot... I can hardly shut my brain off to sleep at night... and then with working night shift too, its hard to not stay up really late even on my days off. SO... yeah IDK... Just had to vent about that. LOL